On Memorial Day, my oldest will add another number to his age.
It was way back in 1996, when I woke up {the day before my middle brother’s wedding} not feeling so good. I had three weeks to go before my due date. I had nothing in way of baby products. Nothing. No carseat. No babybed. No diapers. No clothes. No blankets. No anything.
Although, a baby was on the way, the baby wasn’t so much on my mind.
I was separated from my husband, so I suppose you could say it had been a difficult time. I can’t really share more than that because it’s not just my story to tell. I’m sure y’all can appreciate that.
Back to my story.
I woke up feeling like I was about to start my cycle. Crampy, crampy, and more crampy. Having never given birth before, I had no idea what the beginning of labor felt like. I ventured out of the room I was in and went in search of my Mom. I knew she could tell me what was wrong. She was my Mom and we all know that Moms know everything. 
She was feverishly gathering stuff together to head to the church. She was going to be cooking all day in preparation for the rehearsal dinner that night. She stopped when she saw the look on my face. I told her how I felt and she said, and I quote, “Just call the doctor and see what she says. I’m sure everything is fine. You’re not having that baby today. You are NOT having that baby today.”
Humph.
My dad drove me to the doctor. I went in and was checked. Dilated to 4 cm. “Get to the hospital,” my doctor said.
I knew when I walked out of the doctor’s office I couldn’t let on that there was any issue. My Dad, bless his heart, doesn’t handle situations like that very well. I told him everything was fine.
“Why don’t you just drive me up to the church and I’ll tell Mom what the doctor said.”
I walked into the church kitchen, my Mom saw me and knew. ‘Cuz she’s a mom. She began barking out orders right and left.
“You do this. You do this. You do this. And you do this!”
It was happening. My baby was coming.
What?! My baby was coming? I’m not ready. I’m not ready for this. Panic, panic, panic.
My dad drove me to the hospital, my best friend held my hand during labor and my mom made it before he was born. She was on my right and my best friend was on my left. We laughed and cried. It was a special moment.
And then everyone left.
There was the wedding rehearsal. I missed it. And the wedding.
Those hours spent in the hospital, alone with my newborn son were some of the most bittersweet moments of my life. My marriage was essentially over before it had even begun. I was heartbroken, angry, confused. In my arms, I held this little person who carried a piece of both of us within him. He was perfect and beautiful. My heart ached from the love that spilled over. I cried tears over him. Tears of thankfulness for him. Tears of sorrow. Tears of happiness. Tears of loneliness. Basically, I cried. A lot.
From that first moment when the doctor placed him in my arms, one thing has never wavered. My love for him.
I’ve fallen in my parenting. I’ve failed. I’ve disappointed. I’ve frustrated. But, I’ve always loved.
Fourteen years. Fourteen revolutions around the sun. I pray he has many, many more.
{I apologize for this somewhat disjointed and babbling post. I get like that sometimes.}
I remember well that morning! We had arrived for the wedding. Your mom called me and said “Ada, can you come cook. Ruthann is having her baby.” Talk about panic. I don’t consider myself a good cook and to be cooking a wedding rehearsal dinner was unbelievable. But your mom is so organized and had everything going. The dinner came off without a hitch. I remember your parents walked in looking cool, collected and like we have grandchildren everyday. Of course, everyone was dying to see you and the precious little one. We all made a trip to the hospital and were not disappointed with your bundle of love.
I have watched you grow as a child to a beautiful young woman whose family is priority with her. We all make mistakes but we also learn from them. You have done well and can be proud of your motherhood. You’ll continue on for many more years and one day you too will be there for your children when it is their turn to go to the hospital.
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Aww… ((Ruthanne)) That’s a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing it. I don’t think it was disjointed or babble-ish.
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Oh, what a great post!
I LOVE birth stories.
Happy Birthday to that big boy of yours!
We all have all kinds of stories to tell.
Thanks for tellin’ yours.
.-= Suzanne ~ TheJoyfulChaos´s last blog ..My Little Buttercup =-.
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Beautiful story
Thanks for sharing.
Have a wonderful birthday weekend with your “baby” ;p
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Karaoke Star =-.
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Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable story Ruthanne…I have a similar one. So of course tears are stinging my face right now because I can relate to your emotions. That’s what I mean (over at my place) about “finding the masterpiece in the mess”….what a mess we can make of our lives. It can seem utterly hopeless. Broken beyond repair. And yet God in all His Grace and Mercy can breathe new life into it and make it so beautiful…make it all somehow make sense. And look at that beautiful (I have a 14 year old too so I know he would not want me to refer to him as beautiful but dangit he is!) young man up there! You are a blessed woman Ruthanne….now get you a stick for your front porch and you’ll be all set for 15.
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I am not a mom yet, and I feel tears pricking up on my eyes. What a sweet story, thank you for sharing. I am only 24 but I have been with my husband since I was 15. His little sister was only 13 months old when we met. She’s now 9 and a half. I feel as though she is my own sister, and time has just gone by so fast. Those are beautiful photos of your son playing ball – lifetime treasures for him and for you.
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I can’t imagine how hard that stage in your life must have been, but it is clear how much you love him through your words and pictures. Have fun celebrating his birthday!
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So sweet!
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i love that but it made me sad too. i don’t know any of your birth stories.
.-= melissa stover´s last blog ..Seventeen months =-.
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I too had my first, three weeks early and thought I would be weeks overdue. Not ready was pretty much an understatement. My daughter will be turning 15 this summer, and it happened in a blink of an eye. What a handsome son you have. He looks like he’s doing great. Must be because of his mother : ) send our Happy Birthday’s to him!
Dana
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Happy Birthday to your handsome boy. My birthday is on Memorial Day this year too.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Sweet Shot—Field Trip! =-.
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I think you told your story very well. Happy Birthday to your biggest boy!
I have all these disjointed thoughts in my head that I want to say, but my thoughts are waaay more disjointed than yours! If you were here in person, I would just give you a big giant hug and tell you that I think you are a wonderful mommy!
What a blessing children are. They turn our worlds upside-down but always for the better!
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May futty fust…yep a day that will always be engraved in our family’s history. May heart bursts with pride for my grandson and for YOU my precious daughter. I love you DDD. And wouldn’t you know it, I have NO kleenex handy!
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it was a very nice post. very heartfelt. thank you for sharing it.
amy in peru
.-= amy in peru´s last blog ..Safe =-.
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I’m weeding through emails and realize I missed this post. I could really feel what a bittersweet time it was. I’m thankful you had your mom and best friend. I agree with Marsha: wish I could give you a big hug.
The good news? I’m so glad that you have a wonderful man and marriage now. I hope your son had a great birthday. If I lived Melissa-close, it looks like he and my 15yos would enjoy each other. They both like baseball.
.-= Dawn Camp´s last blog ..Scott Kelby’s 3rd Annual Worldwide Photo Walk Announced for July 24, 2010 =-.
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I’m catching up on blogs, too, and I refuse to believe you have a 14 year old. Definitely not believing this. Yep, the stork dropped him off on your porch when you were just a wee puppy. ; )
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